Are their any themes for 1.4.3 where I just have to upload them and they work? Because theme upgrading makes no sense to me at all and I'm way too frustrated with it to keep trying.
check the demo, use the "choose a theme" dropdown. Download the theme you like from our download section. Links to demo and downloads at the top of this page. It might be a good idea to resolve the threads you started, saying that you're giving up.